This one was particularly hard. I couldn’t find one that suited me perfectly… I even went through my whole mp3 folder to find something, and this is all I could come up with.
Nina Gordon “Tonight And The Rest Of My Life”. This song has held a place in my heart since, oh, about 2001-ish. I first heard it on the radio when I was coming back from a adolescent day care facility. It was an outpatient program for troubled kids or kids who were depressed, in my case. That’s where I was diagnosed with Bipolar. I was 16. I just remember feeling the song; the lyrics, Nina’s voice, the melody. EVERYTHING about it! And it truly embodied how I was feeling at the present time. That this is something I’m going to have to deal for tonight and the rest of my life.
Needless to say, it’s something I’ve learned to cope with through the years and I’m now stabilized and have been for quite awhile. I can’t say that I’m 100%, but quite a vast improvement than what I had been throughout my life.
Wow, I cried while typing this up. I can honestly say this song was saved for the last because it means the most to me. haha.
Halloween is approaching. This means many things, but to all wizards, it is a day we should remember for the following reason. On 31st October, Voldemort murdered Lily and James Potter in the attempt to kill a young boy. They lay down their lives to protect their son. Remember their sacrifice so that they shall not be forgotten. On that stormy night 30 years ago, people all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: 'To Harry Potter - the boy who lived!' We should do the same. Reblog this post to spread the memory. So, celebrate both Halloween and this memorable day!
There’s a river of tears i need to cry Been holding back for years There’s a mountain so high i need to climb To wipe away the fears Solitude and loneliness have been a friend of mine As i’m turning my back on emptiness I leave them all behind
Who knows just where i’m going Does tomorrow belong to me
Walk away this time with my head up high Walk away just me and myself Walk away with pride Nothing left to hide But it just feels right to be one And just walk away
I could never forget how hard I tried When we were oh so young Just one tender moment I cannot find Maybe I had none
Strength will be by my side Although I feel afraid But I know it’s too late for this goodbye There’s nothing left to say
Who knows just where I’m going Does tomorrow belong to me
Walk away this time with my head up high Walk away just me and myself Walk away with pride Nothing left to hide But it just feels right to be one And just walk away this time One day you’ll realise That the tears you saw in my eyes Won’t be there forever
Easy. Lots. Or maybe not so much? I don’t know. I’ll let you make the call.
My sister continues to be a pain in the ass. We get into rows daily, over stupid shit. Like yesterday I sent her a text asking her what she’d like for giftmas, and got pissy with me. Seriously? It was just a question. If you’re really that concerned whether or not I’m going to get you one, I just won’t get you one. How’s that? That was the end of that.
She still owes me $125, but refuses to pay me back… because she has other, “more important” things to pay off. Apparently being indebted to someone, you’re ranked by importance. Me, being on the low end of the totem pole of paying back. My mom said she’d pay me. It’s still bullshit that our mother has to pay me back for something my sister did. Complete. And Utter. BULLSHIT!
In other news, I am having a hard time sleeping again. It sucks. I go about 3-4 days where I sleep well, and then I stay up a day or two. That, or I get very little sleep. I’ve been watching marathons of scary movies, and that keeps me awake too. Perhaps I should stop. It’s Halloween though, it’ll be over soon.
Also, I’m not getting out of the house much… except to do menial tasks. I need to do something about this. We’ll see how well that goes.